Preview to Your Big Day

It has to be your wedding invitation. It tells your guest the schedule for that day and gives them time to decide if they are able to turn up. It comes in different forms - hardcopy card, e-invitation, mobile text message, by mouth. You can decide to use just one of them or a combination. This really depends on how close you are to that guest, and their where they are based - local or overseas. I used all the above to invite my friends and relatives to the wedding.
One other very important, in fact, the MOST important thing about the wedding invitation is this - your wedding invitation sets the style and mood of your wedding and prepares your guests to celebrate your big day with you, in a big way. My arty-farty friend, Jo, created designs for my church invite. I've her permission to show the designs on this blog. We worked on the layout together. I've given them titles to match the style and mood each design exudes:
1. Austerity, Grandeur
2. Elegance
3. Playful
4. Baroquely Classical

Cinderella's Immaculate Glass Shoes

We can inject some fun into our wedding preparation. I had fun when I went searching for my shoes for wedding. I had in mind strappy heels but wanted something unique. This was what I did. I bought a pair of silver, strappy heels with no motifs, gems, nothing. To turn it into something I can call my own, I bought swarovski crystals to spruce up the heels. These stones come in various sizes and colours. The smaller they are, the more difficult to stick them on. Do bear in mind the size of your straps. You can try too.

That's how my left shoe looks. I added the swarovski stones onto the longer strap, to where the buckle is. It was quite a last-minute job. The night before I was to wear them for my wedding shoot, a long-time friend of mine offered to help. Thank God. Boy, was she good at it. She did it on her hair band before.

I stuck the stones on my left shoe while she did it on the right. Use elephant glue. It doesn't dry up too fast. There's time to adjust the position of the stones before the glue solidifies and the stone is fixed there for some time. Oh, and I must add that shoes and stones cost me less than S$40. Have fun...

The Magicians

The salesperson in a bridal studio tells us why we need to choose our bridal package carefully. To look beautiful for this once-in-a-lifetime event. Indeed, the make-up artists and digital imaging artists are like magicians. They can turn anybody, beautiful or not-so-beautiful, into a swan.

Berry and I chose our bridal studio by convenience. My sister got married earlier this year. She recommended us the bridal studio that did her bridal photos. We took it because of the convenient location, the acceptable price, and my sister's recommendation. Besides price, location, and word-of-mouth, I realise the following factors/ items should be considered, while choosing a suitable bridal package:

• Gowns: Off-the-rack or made-to-measure according to your body shape. The bridal consultant should be able to advise you.
• Photographer: Check out their portfolio, lest you end up with cheesy bridal photos.
• Do they provide suits for dads or brothers?
• Corsages
• Hand bouquet
• Guest book
• Quantity of photos for the bridal album
• How many changes of gowns (for outdoor/ studio shoot)
• Trial make-up? Make-up for mums?
• and the list goes on...

Protect Your Mental Health

Let's face it. Preparing for wedding and married life is not easy. It is not necessarily a happy process. At this juncture, I decided that it is good to give a little piece of advice. Remember the following:

1. Always pray for the Lord's wisdom and protection over your mind. When disagreements occur, tempers and nasty words fly.

2. Avoid changing jobs while preparing to get married (if you can help it).

3. Go for marriage preparation course.

4. Avoid changing church while preparing to get married.

All the above (not exhaustive) if not heeded, potentially cause immense stress that gets at you and eats up your brain cells and chews at your mental capacity to think clearly and hinders your marriage preparation.

First Things First -- Lunch Venue

Well-meaning friends never fail to give this advice - start looking for a hotel for your occasion ONE YEAR in advance. I learnt this is a golden advice. Berry and I decided on the hotel ballroom to host our guests for a conventional wedding meal. We started searching for a hotel one year before our wedding date. We almost couldn't find one. What complicated matters was - a seemingly benign date we thought nobody would be interested in but which meant a great deal to us turned out to be a super-auspicious date on the lunar calendar. (Sidetrack: That date we chose would have marked the beginning of the 7th year we know each other's existence on earth.) My advice to you is this: If you or your parents have to pick an auspicious wedding date on the lunar calendar, DO SO EARLY. REAL EARLY. Else, you might end up somewhere you don't want to be.

I must say the hotel we got has good service standards. (I happen to be so into service I can give up discounts just to be served well. Narcissistic.) Like I said, we almost couldn't get it. The considerate, sensitive events manager told us all their suites and ballroom had been booked... except for the ballroom for lunch. It had a tentative booking. He'd like to help but it all depended on whether that tentative booking is given up ultimately. Berry and I prayed fervently. (Don't be mistaken. We do pray always, not just in such situations, and the Lord answers prayers. Never doubt.) We got the ballroom for lunch. Thank God. Thank the events manager.

Besides the cost, look out for a few other things when searching for a hotel function room.

• The location is obviously important. You do not want your guests to reject your invitation because they do not know how to get to the venue. Having said that, bear in mind this mantra. Friends will not mind even if you ask them to witness your wedding on the moon. Those who mind, maybe they are not what you would call friends. I'm not saying all who protest (in any way) are not true friends. However, should you come across such reasons for rejecting your invite, remembering this mantra helps ease any frustrations you may feel. Don't take it too personally.
• Ask for all available, suitable function rooms for wedding. Check out their capacity and minimum required tables. (Before that, have a rough idea how long your guest list would be.) Ask to have a view of these rooms to get a feel of how your event will look. Check for pillars that might block guests' view of the stage.
• Another point is the style - buffet or table style. The former allows free and easy setting while the latter exudes a traditional feel and a tinge of austerity. Think about what you fancy.
• Perks - The more the merrier... but please remember to ask for them. Don't expect the events manager to offer, especially if you choose to be a difficult client right from the beginning. A hotel manager once told me: We do our due diligence to cater for wedding couples. However, those who are nicer tend to get better care and attention. So what are some of the perks you can try asking for? 1) A room for your helpers to rest and prepare logistics. 2) Extra wedding invites. 3) Free cockage/ free flow of beer - forget about free flow of red wine though. 4) Free food-tasting - I heard not all hotels provide that, so better not to assume.

Ok. I shall stop here for now. Too much to talk about for this topic. I welcome comments and if you'd like more advice on other venues (like a lunch reception at church or other venues besides hotels), feel free to email me at marbiemurphy@yahoo.com. Hear from you soon.

Health Wealth

To all ladies reading this post: Have you ever daydreamed about how you'll look in that gorgeous gown on your special day. Yet not all are born with that to-die-for figure. Some of us have to work harder than others to achieve that satisfactory stature.

I've tried a few ways of keeping a good bod - cutting food intake, skipping meals, exercising, etc. This might sound cliche but after a while, I realised it's wiser to exercise adequately and eat appropriately to gain a lean, healthy body than starve ourselves. I picked up jogging when I am contributing to the local work force. However, there was a span of time I stopped jogging and grew fat. But oh how great a motivation getting married is that pushes a woman to her feet and start exercising. Glorious exercise.
At my previous job, I met this group of fervent joggers (marathoners, half-marathoners) who jogged with me and taught me much about breathing techniques and suitable shoes for joggers. I picked up jogging again from that time and rekindled my passion for this sport. Now I feel so much healthier. I made another discovery. My self-image improved as well! Even though I'm still a bit fleshy. ;P
As a 'grand finale' to my training, I took part in the 5-km Shape Run and completed the run in 35 minutes. Evidence of my 5-km victory:


A word of caution. Don't go into jogging or, for that matter, don't embark on any sport hastily without first consulting a doctor or assessing what's suitable for you. Do your research. I guess I was over-enthusiastic when I picked up jogging again. After a while, a pain developed in my left foot. Could be a heel spur or plantar fasciitis as advised by my doctor. If you'd like to try jogging, try this website for some valuable information - http://www.sgrunners.com/blog/
Cheers to a healthier, wealthier you!

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let your hair down!

Somehow, for women, our beautiful tress is one big thing in life. It is an important item to upkeep even before we say "yes" to that guy in our lives. Thus, this shall be one of the first things I'd like to give my two cents' worth.
I was born with natural curls - those that do not fall naturally on your face and shoulders. So if you ask me, I've spent a lot on my hair since the day I became conscious of how they look on my head.
I've one simple philosophy when it comes to looking for that hairdresser that you cannot say "no" to. Be courageous and keep looking for that perfect hairdresser who not only makes your hair glow to the fullest but who also makes you feel pampered. Keep looking, never stop. When you find your perfect hairdresser, be faithful and to stick with him/ her. You'll find treasures with them.
I found my nice (but sometimes cranky) hair stylist more than 5 years back.