First Things First -- Lunch Venue

Well-meaning friends never fail to give this advice - start looking for a hotel for your occasion ONE YEAR in advance. I learnt this is a golden advice. Berry and I decided on the hotel ballroom to host our guests for a conventional wedding meal. We started searching for a hotel one year before our wedding date. We almost couldn't find one. What complicated matters was - a seemingly benign date we thought nobody would be interested in but which meant a great deal to us turned out to be a super-auspicious date on the lunar calendar. (Sidetrack: That date we chose would have marked the beginning of the 7th year we know each other's existence on earth.) My advice to you is this: If you or your parents have to pick an auspicious wedding date on the lunar calendar, DO SO EARLY. REAL EARLY. Else, you might end up somewhere you don't want to be.

I must say the hotel we got has good service standards. (I happen to be so into service I can give up discounts just to be served well. Narcissistic.) Like I said, we almost couldn't get it. The considerate, sensitive events manager told us all their suites and ballroom had been booked... except for the ballroom for lunch. It had a tentative booking. He'd like to help but it all depended on whether that tentative booking is given up ultimately. Berry and I prayed fervently. (Don't be mistaken. We do pray always, not just in such situations, and the Lord answers prayers. Never doubt.) We got the ballroom for lunch. Thank God. Thank the events manager.

Besides the cost, look out for a few other things when searching for a hotel function room.

• The location is obviously important. You do not want your guests to reject your invitation because they do not know how to get to the venue. Having said that, bear in mind this mantra. Friends will not mind even if you ask them to witness your wedding on the moon. Those who mind, maybe they are not what you would call friends. I'm not saying all who protest (in any way) are not true friends. However, should you come across such reasons for rejecting your invite, remembering this mantra helps ease any frustrations you may feel. Don't take it too personally.
• Ask for all available, suitable function rooms for wedding. Check out their capacity and minimum required tables. (Before that, have a rough idea how long your guest list would be.) Ask to have a view of these rooms to get a feel of how your event will look. Check for pillars that might block guests' view of the stage.
• Another point is the style - buffet or table style. The former allows free and easy setting while the latter exudes a traditional feel and a tinge of austerity. Think about what you fancy.
• Perks - The more the merrier... but please remember to ask for them. Don't expect the events manager to offer, especially if you choose to be a difficult client right from the beginning. A hotel manager once told me: We do our due diligence to cater for wedding couples. However, those who are nicer tend to get better care and attention. So what are some of the perks you can try asking for? 1) A room for your helpers to rest and prepare logistics. 2) Extra wedding invites. 3) Free cockage/ free flow of beer - forget about free flow of red wine though. 4) Free food-tasting - I heard not all hotels provide that, so better not to assume.

Ok. I shall stop here for now. Too much to talk about for this topic. I welcome comments and if you'd like more advice on other venues (like a lunch reception at church or other venues besides hotels), feel free to email me at marbiemurphy@yahoo.com. Hear from you soon.