Order of Service

Here's a sample:

Processional
Greeting (from the officiating pastor)
Opening Song(s)
Scripture Reading
Meditation
Holy Matrimony
Closing Song
Benediction
Recessional

For the "Order of Service" bulletin, you can consider using the same design/ picture/ theme you have on your invite to create a wholesome feel to your wedding.

Look out for some thoughts on the wedding vow next.

Safe

In Singapore, red packets (ang pow) are given to the newly wed couple on their wedding day - whether as a token or gift or... to help the couple cover expenses incurred on that day. My wonderful preggie friend made an ang pow box to collect the red packets on my wedding day. You can make your own too. Mine was transformed from a box housing my friend's new slow cooker. If you are expecting a large turnout, maybe you can consider buying a big Ikea cardboard box (the kind that is meant for transporting items when moving house) and wrapping it up. Creates a certain sense of grandeur - the sheer size...

The Ring Bearer

At the solemnisation/ holy matrimony, someone has to deliver the wedding bands into the hands of the pastor/ justice of peace. This person is usually the bestman or groom's brother. The ring bearer can deliver it straight from the ring holder or through the ring pillow. The latter offers a tinge of romance. The former is a down-to-earth way of introducing the ring into the solemnisation. Your choice.

Flower Power

Flowers. The love of my life.

Flowers. I can never let you go.

You've lifted me from the blues in life.

You've set my mood upon the highs, and now I know.

Ladies, get prepared to think about your wedding flowers (fresh or fake) ... and colour scheme. Items to mull over:

Hand bouquet Pew flowers Altar floral arrangement and at strategic spots in the church Flowers at the reception Flowers on your hair Flowers at the hall of your lunch/ dinner reception Corsages Flower prints on your gown Flowers as thanksgiving gift to parents

The Laud of the Rings

The wedding bands signify the union of two and the sacredness of the union.

The bride and groom have different needs when it comes to choosing suitable wedding bands. Comfort is very important but this need is more crucial for men than women. For the ladies, we tend to be comfortable with rings. We love rings, don't we? So it won't be difficult to get used to having one more ring on the fingers. However, the men would probably need more time to get accustomed to their ring, especially if they do not have a habit of wearing rings. Thus, it is one important consideration when a couple chooses their rings.

Here are some considerations when looking for appropriate wedding bands.

1. Ring Shape
There are wedding bands that are slightly curved on the inside rather than being flat. These are comfort fit/ dome-shaped rings. However, this does not necessarily mean that the outside of the ring is rounded too - it can be flat if preferred. It's a matter of personal style and taste. Comfort fit rings allow easy wearing and removal of the ring. As the name suggests, this type of ring feels softer on the finger.

2. Ring Width
Think about the size and length of your fingers as well as personal preference. For the ladies, something not more than 5mm would be preferred. It can be as narrow as the bride fancies. Men would do well with a ring that is not too narrow because a narrow ring could look a tad too feminine for them. Besides looking masculine, wider rings would give a tighter feel. Ultimately, try on the ring to get a feel of it and to see if a particular width is suitable for you.

3. Ring Size
Obviously, you need to choose a size that is not too tight or too loose on your finger. Bear in mind that your finger size will change slightly depending on the seasons of the year and time of the day. For the ladies, when we get pregnant, our fingers might expand a little and this could mean a very tight ring if you choose one that is just fitting. You can consider a slightly bigger size (about 0.5 bigger). However, this is provided the bigger ring does not slip off your finger easily. Nevertheless, for preggies, should you feel the ring is getting too tight for you, take the band off your finger lest it gets stuck on your finger -- for life?

4. Metal

Platinum is the hardest. It doesn't get tarnished easily. White gold does but it is almost twice as cheap as platinum.

As always, taste and preferences play a huge part in shopping for a wedding band. Try on as many wedding bands as you fancy (or could tolerate) till you find one that is comfortable and would be willing to wear.

Your Personal Assistant

We need a good PA who can help us get things done - schedule every single meeting with service providers, every to-do item, record ideas for the wedding, keep track of the budget, etc. Not every couple have the good fortune of having friends who volunteer to be their wedding planner. If you have such friends, grab them and treat them well.

My faithful scheduler is below. Works well on occasional charging. Reminds me subtly my to-do list. Does not nag at me for procrastinating - not literally, at least. Looks good - I can flaunt.

Cakes & Such, Pastries & Much

It's a custom in Singapore to give relatives and friends some cakes and pastries together with the wedding invitation. It's best done personally. From my understanding, the bride's family does this. (Though Berry's family followed suit as well.) We gave fruit cakes and pastries when we personally visited our relatives.
These are available in most confectioneries. You can go for the old-style confectioneries - quality guaranteed - or choose to go to ordinary confectioneries.

We went to an old-style but well-known confectionery. We could sense the effort and love put into making those cakes and pastries. The shop does not look modern. In fact, it gives a rustic feel which is one of the reasons why we fell in love with that little confectionery. Last but not least, no preservatives added.

Luncheon Invite

These are my hotel invitation cards. Aren't they graceful and elegant? I prefer the maroon card. I slipped my church invite into these hotel invites, so no one will miss my church solemnisation invitation. =)

Preview to Your Big Day

It has to be your wedding invitation. It tells your guest the schedule for that day and gives them time to decide if they are able to turn up. It comes in different forms - hardcopy card, e-invitation, mobile text message, by mouth. You can decide to use just one of them or a combination. This really depends on how close you are to that guest, and their where they are based - local or overseas. I used all the above to invite my friends and relatives to the wedding.
One other very important, in fact, the MOST important thing about the wedding invitation is this - your wedding invitation sets the style and mood of your wedding and prepares your guests to celebrate your big day with you, in a big way. My arty-farty friend, Jo, created designs for my church invite. I've her permission to show the designs on this blog. We worked on the layout together. I've given them titles to match the style and mood each design exudes:
1. Austerity, Grandeur
2. Elegance
3. Playful
4. Baroquely Classical

Cinderella's Immaculate Glass Shoes

We can inject some fun into our wedding preparation. I had fun when I went searching for my shoes for wedding. I had in mind strappy heels but wanted something unique. This was what I did. I bought a pair of silver, strappy heels with no motifs, gems, nothing. To turn it into something I can call my own, I bought swarovski crystals to spruce up the heels. These stones come in various sizes and colours. The smaller they are, the more difficult to stick them on. Do bear in mind the size of your straps. You can try too.

That's how my left shoe looks. I added the swarovski stones onto the longer strap, to where the buckle is. It was quite a last-minute job. The night before I was to wear them for my wedding shoot, a long-time friend of mine offered to help. Thank God. Boy, was she good at it. She did it on her hair band before.

I stuck the stones on my left shoe while she did it on the right. Use elephant glue. It doesn't dry up too fast. There's time to adjust the position of the stones before the glue solidifies and the stone is fixed there for some time. Oh, and I must add that shoes and stones cost me less than S$40. Have fun...

The Magicians

The salesperson in a bridal studio tells us why we need to choose our bridal package carefully. To look beautiful for this once-in-a-lifetime event. Indeed, the make-up artists and digital imaging artists are like magicians. They can turn anybody, beautiful or not-so-beautiful, into a swan.

Berry and I chose our bridal studio by convenience. My sister got married earlier this year. She recommended us the bridal studio that did her bridal photos. We took it because of the convenient location, the acceptable price, and my sister's recommendation. Besides price, location, and word-of-mouth, I realise the following factors/ items should be considered, while choosing a suitable bridal package:

• Gowns: Off-the-rack or made-to-measure according to your body shape. The bridal consultant should be able to advise you.
• Photographer: Check out their portfolio, lest you end up with cheesy bridal photos.
• Do they provide suits for dads or brothers?
• Corsages
• Hand bouquet
• Guest book
• Quantity of photos for the bridal album
• How many changes of gowns (for outdoor/ studio shoot)
• Trial make-up? Make-up for mums?
• and the list goes on...

Protect Your Mental Health

Let's face it. Preparing for wedding and married life is not easy. It is not necessarily a happy process. At this juncture, I decided that it is good to give a little piece of advice. Remember the following:

1. Always pray for the Lord's wisdom and protection over your mind. When disagreements occur, tempers and nasty words fly.

2. Avoid changing jobs while preparing to get married (if you can help it).

3. Go for marriage preparation course.

4. Avoid changing church while preparing to get married.

All the above (not exhaustive) if not heeded, potentially cause immense stress that gets at you and eats up your brain cells and chews at your mental capacity to think clearly and hinders your marriage preparation.

First Things First -- Lunch Venue

Well-meaning friends never fail to give this advice - start looking for a hotel for your occasion ONE YEAR in advance. I learnt this is a golden advice. Berry and I decided on the hotel ballroom to host our guests for a conventional wedding meal. We started searching for a hotel one year before our wedding date. We almost couldn't find one. What complicated matters was - a seemingly benign date we thought nobody would be interested in but which meant a great deal to us turned out to be a super-auspicious date on the lunar calendar. (Sidetrack: That date we chose would have marked the beginning of the 7th year we know each other's existence on earth.) My advice to you is this: If you or your parents have to pick an auspicious wedding date on the lunar calendar, DO SO EARLY. REAL EARLY. Else, you might end up somewhere you don't want to be.

I must say the hotel we got has good service standards. (I happen to be so into service I can give up discounts just to be served well. Narcissistic.) Like I said, we almost couldn't get it. The considerate, sensitive events manager told us all their suites and ballroom had been booked... except for the ballroom for lunch. It had a tentative booking. He'd like to help but it all depended on whether that tentative booking is given up ultimately. Berry and I prayed fervently. (Don't be mistaken. We do pray always, not just in such situations, and the Lord answers prayers. Never doubt.) We got the ballroom for lunch. Thank God. Thank the events manager.

Besides the cost, look out for a few other things when searching for a hotel function room.

• The location is obviously important. You do not want your guests to reject your invitation because they do not know how to get to the venue. Having said that, bear in mind this mantra. Friends will not mind even if you ask them to witness your wedding on the moon. Those who mind, maybe they are not what you would call friends. I'm not saying all who protest (in any way) are not true friends. However, should you come across such reasons for rejecting your invite, remembering this mantra helps ease any frustrations you may feel. Don't take it too personally.
• Ask for all available, suitable function rooms for wedding. Check out their capacity and minimum required tables. (Before that, have a rough idea how long your guest list would be.) Ask to have a view of these rooms to get a feel of how your event will look. Check for pillars that might block guests' view of the stage.
• Another point is the style - buffet or table style. The former allows free and easy setting while the latter exudes a traditional feel and a tinge of austerity. Think about what you fancy.
• Perks - The more the merrier... but please remember to ask for them. Don't expect the events manager to offer, especially if you choose to be a difficult client right from the beginning. A hotel manager once told me: We do our due diligence to cater for wedding couples. However, those who are nicer tend to get better care and attention. So what are some of the perks you can try asking for? 1) A room for your helpers to rest and prepare logistics. 2) Extra wedding invites. 3) Free cockage/ free flow of beer - forget about free flow of red wine though. 4) Free food-tasting - I heard not all hotels provide that, so better not to assume.

Ok. I shall stop here for now. Too much to talk about for this topic. I welcome comments and if you'd like more advice on other venues (like a lunch reception at church or other venues besides hotels), feel free to email me at marbiemurphy@yahoo.com. Hear from you soon.

Health Wealth

To all ladies reading this post: Have you ever daydreamed about how you'll look in that gorgeous gown on your special day. Yet not all are born with that to-die-for figure. Some of us have to work harder than others to achieve that satisfactory stature.

I've tried a few ways of keeping a good bod - cutting food intake, skipping meals, exercising, etc. This might sound cliche but after a while, I realised it's wiser to exercise adequately and eat appropriately to gain a lean, healthy body than starve ourselves. I picked up jogging when I am contributing to the local work force. However, there was a span of time I stopped jogging and grew fat. But oh how great a motivation getting married is that pushes a woman to her feet and start exercising. Glorious exercise.
At my previous job, I met this group of fervent joggers (marathoners, half-marathoners) who jogged with me and taught me much about breathing techniques and suitable shoes for joggers. I picked up jogging again from that time and rekindled my passion for this sport. Now I feel so much healthier. I made another discovery. My self-image improved as well! Even though I'm still a bit fleshy. ;P
As a 'grand finale' to my training, I took part in the 5-km Shape Run and completed the run in 35 minutes. Evidence of my 5-km victory:


A word of caution. Don't go into jogging or, for that matter, don't embark on any sport hastily without first consulting a doctor or assessing what's suitable for you. Do your research. I guess I was over-enthusiastic when I picked up jogging again. After a while, a pain developed in my left foot. Could be a heel spur or plantar fasciitis as advised by my doctor. If you'd like to try jogging, try this website for some valuable information - http://www.sgrunners.com/blog/
Cheers to a healthier, wealthier you!

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let your hair down!

Somehow, for women, our beautiful tress is one big thing in life. It is an important item to upkeep even before we say "yes" to that guy in our lives. Thus, this shall be one of the first things I'd like to give my two cents' worth.
I was born with natural curls - those that do not fall naturally on your face and shoulders. So if you ask me, I've spent a lot on my hair since the day I became conscious of how they look on my head.
I've one simple philosophy when it comes to looking for that hairdresser that you cannot say "no" to. Be courageous and keep looking for that perfect hairdresser who not only makes your hair glow to the fullest but who also makes you feel pampered. Keep looking, never stop. When you find your perfect hairdresser, be faithful and to stick with him/ her. You'll find treasures with them.
I found my nice (but sometimes cranky) hair stylist more than 5 years back.