Houston, I've Got a Problem

It's always easier to have 2 persons look after a baby, at least I think so. Now, I'm feeling apprehensive. Berry's one month leave will be up in 2 weeks and I'm getting scared of having to look after junior alone by then. When he cries in hunger, there will be no one to comfort him while I prepare his feed. I've to bathe him on my own. Now that's not an easy feat, especially when my body hasn't fully recovered from pregnancy and childbirth. What with ligaments still weak, womb still not back to normal.

Perhaps I'm worrying too much, but all well-founded fears for a new mother. I believe practice makes perfect but still, it's a little live human being we're talking about here. What if I hurt him accidentally? Will I be able to handle housework and him at the same time? How do I prevent him from crying too much and gulping too much air while crying?

I pray for God's strength. I can do all things in Him who strengthens me....

Junior's First Day of Life

Baby opened his eyes right on the first day of his life, contrary to what I heard about newborns keeping their eyes closed and looking sleepy all day long.

Bedazzled

It's indeed strange to have a new addition of this sort to the family. I didn't feel it those 3 days in the hospital after giving birth but I feel it now that we've taken this little 'bundle of joy' home.

The 3 days in the hospital had been heavenly, compared to home, despite all the pains and aches and lochia from childbirth. (I had an episiotomy to recover from, on top of the epidural effects.) There were nurses to take care of junior - bathing, watching out for him, pushing him to me when it was time to feed.

The day we brought him home, I felt like bringing a stranger home. The foetus that was in my womb for 9 months somehow didn't ring a bell with this little wee being cuddled in my arms.

Life at home has changed forever. No more "just the 2 of us", no more cozying up in the sofa to watch our favourite DVDs, no more going out for nice dinners without having to think about what to do with junior. In exchange, it's feeding every 2-3 hrs, changing soiled/ heavy nappies, comforting a wailing baby, late-night feeds (thank God only once in the wee hours), cranky mood that keeps Berry and I awake the whole night, sleep deprivation.

God's New Creation

My Birth Experience

People say, "Only after you have gone through labour will you be a real woman." I beg to differ. We don't have to go through a birth experience to be a real woman. It is too traumatic. Maybe to be more positive, it's something we would remember as a significant event in our lives.

On Saturday morning, I visited the gynae and we decided to induce junior that day since his birth weight is potentially low and it would be better to get him out early and be fed externally. My gynae did a vaginal examination for me and found that my cervix was 1cm dilated and "quite ready" to give birth. She then inserted a pill for the induction. If not show, no water bag burst, no contraction, admit myself to the hospital at 8pm that day.

3.30pm: Beginning of mild contractions every 3 minutes. That shocked me big time. Every 3 minutes? And not that painful contractions. Am I in real labour? Could I be so lucky to be in labour but spared of bad contractions?

4pm: We set off for the hospital. Met with a bad traffic jam. I was beginning to worry. Will I give birth in the car? Ha. Watched too much TV.

5pm: Reached the hospital. One of the security guards offered to get me a wheelchair but I refused. Could still walk quite all right. Waited for a while at the admission counter. Strange that the counter staff asked for payment for the single-bedded room despite a preggie looking quite distraught and worried about giving birth any minute.

5.15pm: Got a maternity ward and left wondering more. Shouldn't they send me to a labour ward instead? To make it worse, we got a double-bedded room which wasn't what we'd asked for.

5.30pm: After Berry checked, we realised the clinic assistant made a mistake and indicated a double-bedded room for us. Also, we clarified that I was having labour contractions and needed to go to the labour ward.

5.35pm: Nothing much we could do except watch TV. On arrival at the labour ward, my gynae let me stayed in the ward to get the contractions working on setting off established labour. It was quite boring. The only 'stinker' was the vaginal examination. The dear nurse was so rough when cleaning and doing the vaginal examination (VE) for me I thought I'd die. My gynae definitely could do it much better in the morning.

11pm: My gynae checked on me and did another VE. By now, I couldn't take the pain. She advised on getting an epidural since I couldn't even take the pain from a VE. Wanted to scream that their nurse hurt me earlier on and I was wounded! Nothing Berry and I could do except watch TV and sleep. Contractions still mild but it was not nice sleeping in the labour ward. I had to be strapped to the bed at least 3 times for an hour each to monitor the contractions and baby's heartbeat.

One of the nurses was really attentive. She helped check baby's position and heartbeat and advised me to sleep on my right instead of left so the foetus wouldn't press on the umbilical cord. Thank God for her.

(Because of the traumatic VE episode at 5.35pm, I opted for epidural. Will not forget this irony. Epidural 'coz of VE pain and not labour pain.)

Sunday, 8am: Anesthetist came to administer epidural. I had to curl up like a panda lying on its side. Was told not to move but that was literally impossible. How to when something is poked right into your spine? Yes, I've always been a negative person. I must say that epidural is the most undignified way of being numbed from pain as far as I know. (Later on, I heard from a friend that the epidural she had was quite well administered and she didn't jerk like I did. Anesthetist is more skilful?)

9am: Gynae came to do another VE. I was 2-3cm dilated. An oxytocin drip was administered to induce established labour. The Group B streptococcus antibiotic drip was also given. My cervix should dilate about 1cm each hour and gynae said she'd be back about 3pm to deliver junior.

Nothing much I could do except be numb and watch TV. I could feel contractions toward the top of the womb but of course I wouldn't know the intensity of it since I was quite numb. However, could still feel the amniotic fluid flowing out. It was a weird sensation indeed. Every other minute, I prayed for the dilation to happen successfully, that junior would have no problem coming out.

12pm: Midwife came in to check on me and was mildly horrified to find I was fully dilated. Hallelujah! God answered my prayer. However, midwife had problem locating my gynae. She fussed around me. Told me not to push yet. Wait for gynae. It was only later when gynae arrived that we realised the nurses were not able to locate her at all. She had a sense to call the hospital and only then found that I had to give birth. Thank God for again answering my prayer to hold junior there till the gynae came.

I didn't have to push too many times. Junior popped through the strong contractions while I was pushing. I must say when you don't feel a thing, it's strange to be told to push. Push like I was shitting, I was told.

It was almost surreal. There he was, wailing for dear life! Thank God he's breathing and very much alive. I was touched, lost for words. To show further that he's a healthy baby, he peed twice - once at the gynae, another at the midwife when she was attending to him.

Final Check Up

This is D-day. Baby's head is finally engaged. (I think it's thanks to the swim yesterday.) Gynae did a vaginal examination for me and found my cervix 1 cm dilated and pretty ripe, I suppose. She said, "Your cervix is quite ready." She gave us a choice of induction today or tomorrow. No difference to me. So we decided that today it shall be. She inserted a pill into my vagina. If no show/ blood, no water bag burst, no contractions, admit myself into hospital at 8pm. If any of the above happens, admit into hospital immediately.

And to confirm my suspicion, whenever baby is arched like an angry cat in my tummy, it means contraction. I've been experiencing Braxton Hicks no doubt for the past few weeks. Ha...

Now, I can't seem to time the contractions properly. They seem to come and go at odd intervals, so I'm wondering if I should go to hospital now. Berry is still very cozy in his couch watching Hell Boy. Sigh...

Toy from Above

Junior will be able to see a lot of insects and animals above him while in his cot.

Junior's First Toy

Free gift from spending at Takashimaya's baby fair. A huge expenditure! The free gift is small in comparison but this is quite cute. It projects animals on the ceiling and comes with music.

Junior's Cot

Storage Unit

One of the 3 units we bought at Ikea that day. It comes with rollers. I can push them below junior's cot! Very convenient.

My Egg

I'd wanted to put up pics of my egg. Finally did it. Would have been cuter if I were wearing black but I forgot to take it on days I was in black. So settled for green.

View from the Top

Gate Crashed Hospital Tour

Just had my check up at the gynae's clinic today. Berry decided to see if we could get an impromptu tour of the maternity and labour wards at the hospital. Else, the usual scheduled visits are on Tue 12noon or Thu 4pm. Bad timings for Berry as he can't make it due to his busy schedule.

The hospital customer service staff were nice enough to accommodate to our request, though they were quick to remind us that we may not be able to view at all if all wards were occupied and that they were going out of their way to give us an impromptu tour.

The maternity ward was newly renovated a few months ago. Looks really nice. We'd have a plasma TV, and player to play music.

The labour ward was a little cold. The lights seemed quite harsh. Think I'd ask the hospital staff to dim the lights that day, if possible. May be good to have a cozy, less threatening environment to give birth, especially if labour is going to be long.

My check up was ok. Baby is lower but still not engaged at 37.5 weeks. Movement is ok. Growth is ok too. Doc did another growth scan to make sure baby is ok since the last growth scan showed his tummy wasn't growing fast enough.

Doc did mention that junior is still small, though within an acceptable range. By the next check up, we'd probably need to decide if we need to go through induction if he doesn't choose his date to be offloaded. Hope he's like me. Strong-minded. Then perhaps he'd make a decision as to the date he wants to pop out. Then we won't have to decide for him to be induced.

Also shared with gynae a bit of my birth plan. She was adamant that I shouldn't read the internet and take in all those garbage about good birth positions and that when real contractions come, I'd be in so much pain that I probably couldn't keep myself straight. As for epidural, she was for the idea that I shouldn't wait till I was half-dead and couldn't think straight before I finally opt for it. The administration would also be affected by then as I probably wouldn't be able to keep my back straight.

So when I'm in labour, I should be assessed when admitted to hospital to see how advanced my labour is. If it's already half done, I shouldn't be opting for an epidural as it takes some time to prepare and be administered. The effect probably wouldn't take effect till after I'm past much of the labour. But if the assessment shows that I'm still in early labour, I should decide fast if I'd like an epidural. This is so as not to waste their time and my time, so says my doc.

My Birth Plan

I never knew what a birth plan was. I still don't. However, here's my attempt at one. Hope I'm in time to discuss this with my gynae tomorrow.

1. No epidural until I really can't take it. But midwife has to be experienced enough to know the ultimate point I should have an epidural before it's too late to have one, ie, the worst pain is over. I want to keep the birth as natural as possible, and avoid having to use ventuose/ forceps.

2. No strapping me to the bed such that my movement is impeded. Although I'd be put on a drip due to Grp B streptoccocus, I'd still want to be able to go on all 4s. I read this is one of the better birth positions to encourage junior to come out easily.

3. After the birth, I hope baby can be brought to me to have a look before he's to be taken away to do all the checks on his health.

4. I'd like to have help on how to breastfeed.

Junior's Furniture

This requires a lot of planning. We didn't have the luxury of time, having to work more than 12hrs everyday for the past many months. Thus, last night, we went to Ikea to try to grab some storage units to house junior's ever-increasing clothes, toys and toiletries. At least settle the immediate needs. Junior doesn't have a room of his own, so his nursery is in our bedroom. My bedroom will be totally cramped in no time.

Due to the bit of difficulty walking and a hungry tummy, we settled for 3 storage containers really quickly. Lots of work to do today clearing the space for these containers.

Better keep myself as mobile as possible. Else, my mil's probably gonna come charging to my home to check on me, whether I'm piggying away sleeping and growing fat! ;ppp

October Baby

Junior is officially an October baby today. And I thought he'd edge his way ahead and be the same month baby as his papa. ;ppp

I'd have preferred a September baby actually. Can save on the birthday cakes and maybe presents too! hahaha...