Talk is Not Cheap But Invaluable!

Baby now can 'speak' more 'words'. Besides anggu and coo, he now speaks "A", "boo", "poo" and makes other sounds. He talks to all things - living and non-living - that attract his attention. He talks to my mum's wardrobe, the origami fish and pineapples hanging from the ceiling lights, the ceiling fans, pictures, and of course daddy, mummy and all the adults who shower him with love daily. And he plays with his saliva too. He can get quite slobbery at times. Boo!

Therefore, to me, the notion "talk is cheap" no longer holds true. It's a joy to see baby learn to talk.

Rhythm is the Answer

Tapped my fingers on bb's rashule while he's sitting in it and bobbed my head left and right according to the rhythm. Guess what? He tried to bob his head left and right as well, albeit only very slightly.

Feeding Amount -- 150ml

Ha... Junior is in his 10th week and I've since increased his fm feed to 150ml. Still supplementing with bm. And I'm still deliberating whether to continue feeding him bm when I go back to work come January. Let's see if there are any signs of the supply increasing.

Pop-up Button

I've heard people say that babies with an outie belly button may have cried too much. Junior has it but I don't really think he cried a lot. Pd said his tummy muscles may not be that developed yet thus can't hold his belly button in. Again, this condition would go away as he grows older. Hope so.

Eczema

Baby started to have some blotches on his face a couple of weeks back. Off-colour patches surrounded by redness. Checked with paediatrician that he could have eczema but that they will go off when he's older. This is more common in babies with a family history of eczema. Berry has eczema on his fingers. Hmm... But the condition seems to be getting better with the cream given by the pd.

Baby's Tears

Read before that once baby's tears start to drain well, we can stop cleaning his eyes using cooled boiled water and cotton wool. I thought I saw baby's tears when he yawned today. Is that a sign of his tears starting to drain well? Hmm...

Mouldy Neck?

Noticed white spots on junior's neck. Wondering if it's the same as a friend's daughter who had a mouldy neck when she was young. I'm doing my best to keep junior's neck dry and clean. Yet another condition to ask the paediatrician.

[Doc said it's heat rash. They will go away in time to come. Well, I think they will only go away when junior's neck is no longer in folds.]

Look Here!

Baby started to follow objects since he was about 3 weeks old. Sometime back, he began to notice my hair dangling over him while I was feeding and he even tried to touch my hair with his mitten-covered hand. And when my head moved left and right, his gaze followed where my hair was.

I notice he tends to prefer to look to his right. Not that he doesn't turn his head left and right to look at things but it's indeed a little worrying to see his head turned to the right most of the times. If there are 2 persons on his either side, he'll look at the person on his right.

I read about this condition called congenital muscle torticolis where a child's neck cannot turn both ways and only on one side. Hope junior doesn't have that. Shall ask the paediatrician when we next see him.

[PD said perhaps when he was in the uterus, he constantly turned to the right. Just have to turn his head back whenever he turns to the right excessively. I'm not quite convinced. I tried turning his head to the left before but to no avail. We bought a dimpled pillow for junior which seems to be helping him turn to the left, somehow. So we shall observe further.]

Green Poo

Junior had green poo for almost a week. My mil said he must have been frightened by something. Much as it's a common belief, it remains as just a belief for me. I read from a website that this could be due to 3 possibilities - overfeeding, underfeeding or not enough fat intake (ie, not getting enough hindmilk for breastfed babies). Mine could well be the 1st. I've been combining bm and fm for almost every feed, in a bid to keep the bm supply flowing, no matter how low it is.

Decided to accumulate all the ebm for 1 feed and give fm for the rest of the feeds to better manage the amount fed each time. Seems to be working.

Nevertheless, shall ask the paediatrician for advice. See what he says.

[PD said sometimes, formula-fed babies tend to have green poo. What's the logic?? I'd think it's coz formula-fed babies are usually overfed and thus explains the green poo. According to a famous lactation consultant at TMC (from her book on childcare), formula-fed babies tend to experience overfeeding.]

Baby at Week 8

Compare this with the foto at week 6. Junior has grown. In this foto, he was singing to Hillsong.

Week 8 Growth Spurt???

Baby at week 6

This week, baby seems hungry constantly. He's asking for a feed every 3-3.5hrs, compared to 4-hourly feeds. Wondering if the 130ml fm at each feed is getting insufficient for him. Sometimes, I supplement with bm. (Ha. Yes, now bm has become the supplement while fm the staple. Still working fruitlessly on increasing the bm ss.) To increase fm to 170ml per feed seems ridiculous. He's only taking about 140-150ml of fm at any one time. Wastage. So I'm settling for 130ml every 3-hourly.

What I read is growth spurts occur in week 3, 6 and 3 months. So a little surprised to see a growth spurt symptom in week 8.

Coo... Anggu...

These are baby's first words, when he turned 7 weeks old.

Junior's Eye Development

Baby began to be able to focus and his eyes work together when he was about 6 to 7 weeks old. It's a joy to see him look at us intently and sometimes even smile at us. After several weeks of seeing through us, we're finally getting some response from him. Hooray!

Comfort

Today is the first time I gave junior comfort feeding and I'm surprised. He had never needed comfort feeding in the first 6 weeks of his life. He had his last feed for the day at 12am. However, he didn't go to sleep like he usually would but continued crying for no apparent reason. Diaper - checked. Hunger - checked. Cuddling - checked. I decided to carry him in bed and get to sleep with him in my laps when he started rooting. It was a struggle for me as I've just started working on my bm supply and nipples were getting sore. Grudgingly allowed him to suck for a few minutes till he unlatched by himself. Observed a little. He went to sleep in my bed without me carrying him. Boy, was I glad! Put him in his little sleeper in between Berry and me. He struggled a little but eventually went to sleep. Thank God!

Teary Baby

Junior left eye has been teary on and off since last Thur. His left eyelid had a little, red bump on Thur which went off on Fri morn. Today, his left eye went teary again, but with no red bump. Wonder if this is normal. I've never seen him tear before, despite so much crying.

Sleep Terror

Of late, baby seems to be refusing to sleep in his cot. He'll howl and cry when he realises it's time to sleep when he's put in the cot. After his last feed for the night, we'd clean his face, change his diaper, sometimes read to him, before saying good night to him.

That's when the horror begins. We'd switch off the light and the noises start, culminating into loud cries.

We resolve this by giving him the pacifier. However, I'm really worried about how to wean him off the pacifier at night. My friend said, "Think about it when the time comes." When will it come??

[BB is still like that till now, in his 10th week. Sigh...]

Yellow Bear Play Mat and My Son

Don't they blend well together? We got the play mat cheap at a Motherhood exhibition because this was the display set. What does it matter. Good as new. Lovely.

On Your Tummy, Get Set, Go

I read that it's good to put baby on his tummy from the second week onward to allow him to practise supporting his head with his neck, to strengthen his neck muscles. Junior had his first practice in week 4.

Brain Food

All important sleep, everyone needs. A miracle happened today. After enduring night feeds that occur around 3am everyday, junior slept through the night from 11plus pm through to 6plus am. That's a whopping 7 hours after 5 weeks of junior's arrival!

Read that from the 6th week onward, newborns will start to sleep longer. How true. Junior's development is on track. Ha.

Feeding Woes

I never thought breastfeeding could be so difficult. At least the books and internet info did not prepare me for the trauma I'm experiencing -- sore nipples, bleeding, infection, pain... It was ever-so-frequently reiterated that if the latch-on is correct, the mother should not feel any pain. I did not understand this because it is always painful.

For the 1st week of breastfeeding, my nipples started to bleed, get sore and very painful. I was in a dilemma whether to let baby drink blood-stained breast milk. I spent $100 getting a lactation consultant (LC) to make a home visit. Some useful advice were given and I thought things were getting better. I also started to express the milk. However, LC's advice was not to feed from the bottle lest he doesn't latch on properly anymore. Use spoon or cup feeding. It was really difficult because baby has only known suckling all his 1st week of life. It was a struggle.

On the 2nd week, we visited the PD for baby's wheezing and found that he wasn't gaining enough weight -- only 100g in a week when the norm is 200g. PD suggested supplementing with formula milk. I was thrown into a greater dilemma. FM became the easy way out when I was too tired. Naturally, the bm supply was affected.

And so, it has been like that since. The fm quantity per feed kept increasing while my bm amount expressed remained more or less stagnant with one major regression when I first introduced fm to baby. I was depressed over this. When he was in my womb, my placenta couldn't supply enough for a while. Now that he's out, my bm supply isn't enough to sustain him that I've to resort to fm. How in the world can I get the bm to increase so I can proudly say I'm doing full breastfeeding to my son???

Till now, I'm still trying to express bm hoping (against all hope, perhaps) the supply would come. I bought lactation milk powder for nursing mums, fenugreek capsules (known to help increase bm), drinking lots of low fat milk, and lots of soup and other fluids. No great improvement yet. I suspect the biggest factor is my lack of sleep. Bm cannot be 'manufactured' adequately. I heard it gets manufactured while the mum is sleeping. So I'm working on this. Tough (because of all the chores to be done for baby), but I'm hanging on.

Jaundice

Junior developed jaundice when he was about 3 days old. I was alerted to this by the lactation consultant when I asked her to visit to advise on breastfeeding. She advised to continue breastfeeding bb as breastmilk helps alleviate the condition. Hopefully the condition doesn't turn worse, else the paediatrician might send him for phototherapy, ie, be hospitalised. Thank God I started out bfeeding bb. As it turned out, it wasn't a serious case for him and when we visited the next day, the paediatrician told us to sunbathe bb for about 10mins between 8 and 9 am in the morning and that'd suffice.

It was fun and tiring at the same time to have to wake up early, bathe junior and catch the 8-9am indirect sunlight to get rid of the jaundice. But it was all worth the effort.

Baby's jaundice condition finally went away almost 1 month after his birth. Thank God.

Houston, I've Got a Problem

It's always easier to have 2 persons look after a baby, at least I think so. Now, I'm feeling apprehensive. Berry's one month leave will be up in 2 weeks and I'm getting scared of having to look after junior alone by then. When he cries in hunger, there will be no one to comfort him while I prepare his feed. I've to bathe him on my own. Now that's not an easy feat, especially when my body hasn't fully recovered from pregnancy and childbirth. What with ligaments still weak, womb still not back to normal.

Perhaps I'm worrying too much, but all well-founded fears for a new mother. I believe practice makes perfect but still, it's a little live human being we're talking about here. What if I hurt him accidentally? Will I be able to handle housework and him at the same time? How do I prevent him from crying too much and gulping too much air while crying?

I pray for God's strength. I can do all things in Him who strengthens me....

Junior's First Day of Life

Baby opened his eyes right on the first day of his life, contrary to what I heard about newborns keeping their eyes closed and looking sleepy all day long.

Bedazzled

It's indeed strange to have a new addition of this sort to the family. I didn't feel it those 3 days in the hospital after giving birth but I feel it now that we've taken this little 'bundle of joy' home.

The 3 days in the hospital had been heavenly, compared to home, despite all the pains and aches and lochia from childbirth. (I had an episiotomy to recover from, on top of the epidural effects.) There were nurses to take care of junior - bathing, watching out for him, pushing him to me when it was time to feed.

The day we brought him home, I felt like bringing a stranger home. The foetus that was in my womb for 9 months somehow didn't ring a bell with this little wee being cuddled in my arms.

Life at home has changed forever. No more "just the 2 of us", no more cozying up in the sofa to watch our favourite DVDs, no more going out for nice dinners without having to think about what to do with junior. In exchange, it's feeding every 2-3 hrs, changing soiled/ heavy nappies, comforting a wailing baby, late-night feeds (thank God only once in the wee hours), cranky mood that keeps Berry and I awake the whole night, sleep deprivation.

God's New Creation

My Birth Experience

People say, "Only after you have gone through labour will you be a real woman." I beg to differ. We don't have to go through a birth experience to be a real woman. It is too traumatic. Maybe to be more positive, it's something we would remember as a significant event in our lives.

On Saturday morning, I visited the gynae and we decided to induce junior that day since his birth weight is potentially low and it would be better to get him out early and be fed externally. My gynae did a vaginal examination for me and found that my cervix was 1cm dilated and "quite ready" to give birth. She then inserted a pill for the induction. If not show, no water bag burst, no contraction, admit myself to the hospital at 8pm that day.

3.30pm: Beginning of mild contractions every 3 minutes. That shocked me big time. Every 3 minutes? And not that painful contractions. Am I in real labour? Could I be so lucky to be in labour but spared of bad contractions?

4pm: We set off for the hospital. Met with a bad traffic jam. I was beginning to worry. Will I give birth in the car? Ha. Watched too much TV.

5pm: Reached the hospital. One of the security guards offered to get me a wheelchair but I refused. Could still walk quite all right. Waited for a while at the admission counter. Strange that the counter staff asked for payment for the single-bedded room despite a preggie looking quite distraught and worried about giving birth any minute.

5.15pm: Got a maternity ward and left wondering more. Shouldn't they send me to a labour ward instead? To make it worse, we got a double-bedded room which wasn't what we'd asked for.

5.30pm: After Berry checked, we realised the clinic assistant made a mistake and indicated a double-bedded room for us. Also, we clarified that I was having labour contractions and needed to go to the labour ward.

5.35pm: Nothing much we could do except watch TV. On arrival at the labour ward, my gynae let me stayed in the ward to get the contractions working on setting off established labour. It was quite boring. The only 'stinker' was the vaginal examination. The dear nurse was so rough when cleaning and doing the vaginal examination (VE) for me I thought I'd die. My gynae definitely could do it much better in the morning.

11pm: My gynae checked on me and did another VE. By now, I couldn't take the pain. She advised on getting an epidural since I couldn't even take the pain from a VE. Wanted to scream that their nurse hurt me earlier on and I was wounded! Nothing Berry and I could do except watch TV and sleep. Contractions still mild but it was not nice sleeping in the labour ward. I had to be strapped to the bed at least 3 times for an hour each to monitor the contractions and baby's heartbeat.

One of the nurses was really attentive. She helped check baby's position and heartbeat and advised me to sleep on my right instead of left so the foetus wouldn't press on the umbilical cord. Thank God for her.

(Because of the traumatic VE episode at 5.35pm, I opted for epidural. Will not forget this irony. Epidural 'coz of VE pain and not labour pain.)

Sunday, 8am: Anesthetist came to administer epidural. I had to curl up like a panda lying on its side. Was told not to move but that was literally impossible. How to when something is poked right into your spine? Yes, I've always been a negative person. I must say that epidural is the most undignified way of being numbed from pain as far as I know. (Later on, I heard from a friend that the epidural she had was quite well administered and she didn't jerk like I did. Anesthetist is more skilful?)

9am: Gynae came to do another VE. I was 2-3cm dilated. An oxytocin drip was administered to induce established labour. The Group B streptococcus antibiotic drip was also given. My cervix should dilate about 1cm each hour and gynae said she'd be back about 3pm to deliver junior.

Nothing much I could do except be numb and watch TV. I could feel contractions toward the top of the womb but of course I wouldn't know the intensity of it since I was quite numb. However, could still feel the amniotic fluid flowing out. It was a weird sensation indeed. Every other minute, I prayed for the dilation to happen successfully, that junior would have no problem coming out.

12pm: Midwife came in to check on me and was mildly horrified to find I was fully dilated. Hallelujah! God answered my prayer. However, midwife had problem locating my gynae. She fussed around me. Told me not to push yet. Wait for gynae. It was only later when gynae arrived that we realised the nurses were not able to locate her at all. She had a sense to call the hospital and only then found that I had to give birth. Thank God for again answering my prayer to hold junior there till the gynae came.

I didn't have to push too many times. Junior popped through the strong contractions while I was pushing. I must say when you don't feel a thing, it's strange to be told to push. Push like I was shitting, I was told.

It was almost surreal. There he was, wailing for dear life! Thank God he's breathing and very much alive. I was touched, lost for words. To show further that he's a healthy baby, he peed twice - once at the gynae, another at the midwife when she was attending to him.

Final Check Up

This is D-day. Baby's head is finally engaged. (I think it's thanks to the swim yesterday.) Gynae did a vaginal examination for me and found my cervix 1 cm dilated and pretty ripe, I suppose. She said, "Your cervix is quite ready." She gave us a choice of induction today or tomorrow. No difference to me. So we decided that today it shall be. She inserted a pill into my vagina. If no show/ blood, no water bag burst, no contractions, admit myself into hospital at 8pm. If any of the above happens, admit into hospital immediately.

And to confirm my suspicion, whenever baby is arched like an angry cat in my tummy, it means contraction. I've been experiencing Braxton Hicks no doubt for the past few weeks. Ha...

Now, I can't seem to time the contractions properly. They seem to come and go at odd intervals, so I'm wondering if I should go to hospital now. Berry is still very cozy in his couch watching Hell Boy. Sigh...

Toy from Above

Junior will be able to see a lot of insects and animals above him while in his cot.

Junior's First Toy

Free gift from spending at Takashimaya's baby fair. A huge expenditure! The free gift is small in comparison but this is quite cute. It projects animals on the ceiling and comes with music.

Junior's Cot

Storage Unit

One of the 3 units we bought at Ikea that day. It comes with rollers. I can push them below junior's cot! Very convenient.

My Egg

I'd wanted to put up pics of my egg. Finally did it. Would have been cuter if I were wearing black but I forgot to take it on days I was in black. So settled for green.

View from the Top

Gate Crashed Hospital Tour

Just had my check up at the gynae's clinic today. Berry decided to see if we could get an impromptu tour of the maternity and labour wards at the hospital. Else, the usual scheduled visits are on Tue 12noon or Thu 4pm. Bad timings for Berry as he can't make it due to his busy schedule.

The hospital customer service staff were nice enough to accommodate to our request, though they were quick to remind us that we may not be able to view at all if all wards were occupied and that they were going out of their way to give us an impromptu tour.

The maternity ward was newly renovated a few months ago. Looks really nice. We'd have a plasma TV, and player to play music.

The labour ward was a little cold. The lights seemed quite harsh. Think I'd ask the hospital staff to dim the lights that day, if possible. May be good to have a cozy, less threatening environment to give birth, especially if labour is going to be long.

My check up was ok. Baby is lower but still not engaged at 37.5 weeks. Movement is ok. Growth is ok too. Doc did another growth scan to make sure baby is ok since the last growth scan showed his tummy wasn't growing fast enough.

Doc did mention that junior is still small, though within an acceptable range. By the next check up, we'd probably need to decide if we need to go through induction if he doesn't choose his date to be offloaded. Hope he's like me. Strong-minded. Then perhaps he'd make a decision as to the date he wants to pop out. Then we won't have to decide for him to be induced.

Also shared with gynae a bit of my birth plan. She was adamant that I shouldn't read the internet and take in all those garbage about good birth positions and that when real contractions come, I'd be in so much pain that I probably couldn't keep myself straight. As for epidural, she was for the idea that I shouldn't wait till I was half-dead and couldn't think straight before I finally opt for it. The administration would also be affected by then as I probably wouldn't be able to keep my back straight.

So when I'm in labour, I should be assessed when admitted to hospital to see how advanced my labour is. If it's already half done, I shouldn't be opting for an epidural as it takes some time to prepare and be administered. The effect probably wouldn't take effect till after I'm past much of the labour. But if the assessment shows that I'm still in early labour, I should decide fast if I'd like an epidural. This is so as not to waste their time and my time, so says my doc.

My Birth Plan

I never knew what a birth plan was. I still don't. However, here's my attempt at one. Hope I'm in time to discuss this with my gynae tomorrow.

1. No epidural until I really can't take it. But midwife has to be experienced enough to know the ultimate point I should have an epidural before it's too late to have one, ie, the worst pain is over. I want to keep the birth as natural as possible, and avoid having to use ventuose/ forceps.

2. No strapping me to the bed such that my movement is impeded. Although I'd be put on a drip due to Grp B streptoccocus, I'd still want to be able to go on all 4s. I read this is one of the better birth positions to encourage junior to come out easily.

3. After the birth, I hope baby can be brought to me to have a look before he's to be taken away to do all the checks on his health.

4. I'd like to have help on how to breastfeed.

Junior's Furniture

This requires a lot of planning. We didn't have the luxury of time, having to work more than 12hrs everyday for the past many months. Thus, last night, we went to Ikea to try to grab some storage units to house junior's ever-increasing clothes, toys and toiletries. At least settle the immediate needs. Junior doesn't have a room of his own, so his nursery is in our bedroom. My bedroom will be totally cramped in no time.

Due to the bit of difficulty walking and a hungry tummy, we settled for 3 storage containers really quickly. Lots of work to do today clearing the space for these containers.

Better keep myself as mobile as possible. Else, my mil's probably gonna come charging to my home to check on me, whether I'm piggying away sleeping and growing fat! ;ppp

October Baby

Junior is officially an October baby today. And I thought he'd edge his way ahead and be the same month baby as his papa. ;ppp

I'd have preferred a September baby actually. Can save on the birthday cakes and maybe presents too! hahaha...

Venturing Out On My Own

Ever since I had difficulty walking due to the aches, I've not left home without someone with me. Today I'm going to try that. My parents and little niece are coming to visit and bring me lunch. And I haven't changed my ez-link card for the new whatever-you-call-it card, so I thought I'd walk to the MRT station to change it and at the same time meet them to go home together.

It wasn't easy. I regretted the moment I reached the 1st floor. My backache was killing me. I wondered if I should turn back. Nevertheless, I did not. Pride got the better of me. I'd told my parents I'd meet them at the station. There was no turning back. Ha!

Well, the little walk did get me started. No matter how hard it was, I knew God would be there to look after me. And so the little adventure was successful!

Mutated SPD

I think the swim did help. My pelvic ligament does not seem to be in pain anymore. However, I've got this nagging backache since yesterday. If anyone sees me walk, they'd think I've turned into a horse. I trot. Berry asked me why I walked like that last night when he was back from work.

Oh yes, I've finally stopped working. Started my much-longed-for maternity leave yesterday. It seemed to help my current condition. At least my pelvic ligament is no longer in pain! Thank God.

Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction

Another term I found in a book Berry bought. I think this one's more apt for my condition. Gynae said to go swim (float around, ie, because I can no longer swim breaststroke as I need to keep my knees close together with SPD) to realign baby's position in my womb. He may be pressing on some nerves. The swim did help. I got out of the pool feeling refreshed.

Well, I didn't just float. Since I couldn't kick like a frog, I couldn't even paddle, I kept my legs together and did the butterfly stroke instead. This seemed to shake loose my bb's somewhat locked position in my tummy and helped him rest in a more centralised manner.

However, after changing, it got worse than ever as I didn't have any support in the changing room to hold on to while putting on my undies and shorts. These days, I've to sit down to put on my bottoms as I need to keep my knees close together.

Braxton Hicks

While on our drive home, I felt some somewhat regular contractions. I thought, "Wow! Am I so spot-on? I just ended my last day of work before I go on maternity leave and I'm ready for birth!" This lasted for the whole journey home and an hour after we reached home. The contractions were somewhat paced quite evenly. Every 10 or 15 minutes.

I told Berry about it. However, I did some rationalisation and thought it impossible. "The book says the tone of voice would be different when a woman is in labour, compared to when she's having braxton hicks." Berry thought otherwise. He said even when I'm flustered, I could still speak calmly. Well.. he's right. Tested and proven. I'm that calm, so calm that it gets on some people's nerves sometimes.

Well... it proved to be braxton hicks. After a bath, the contractions died down.

Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP)

I was reading babycenter.com and came across this write up on PGP. I think I'm having that. Looks like I need to exercise my pelvic floor more diligently. Hopefully it can ease the pain, if not altogether, at least cut it down by 90%.

One good thing that came out of this is that I learn to look on the positive side somehow. I learn to be still thankful to God. Thankful that my maternity leave is starting soon. Thankful that besides a toothache and PGP, my baby is growing well, no longer malnourished.

Ligament Pain

Been having that on and off for the past week. Last night, it got so bad, I couldn't walk properly. Continued to this morning and had no choice but to see the doctor who gave me 2 days' MC. Wondering how I could conquer this. I think sleeping on my left aggravated the pain on the right pelvic ligament. But I read it's better to sleep on the left as sleeping on the right affects some nerves and may obstruct blood circulation. Not sure how true it is...

For now, guess I shall try to sleep on the right anyhow, at least for my naps this afternoon. Tomorrow will be better.

Positioning

In marketing a product, there's positioning to consider. So does having an easy birth. For the past few days, I've been observing the way I sit, walk, stand, sleep in a bid to allow baby to go into the ideal position for birth.

It's not always easy, especially when sitting. It's so easy to take the easy way out -- to slouch into the office chair or home sofa and just feel fat and relax. But I know that is not the way to go, if I want baby to arrive smoothly.

So... it's continual discipline and discipline and more discipline.

Sweet Dreams? I Wish...

Sleep has become unrestful since beginning of this week. I wake up every morning with heavy eye bags. I've trouble getting into and out of bed. Tummy has become heavy. Very heavy...

Decided to start my maternity leave 3 weeks before the estimated due date. Have a hunch junior will arrive earlier than expected, somehow...

GBS

Gynae did a swab test and found I've Group B Streptoccocal vaginal infection. Sigh... What I've been fearing. Heard it'd affect babies born through vaginal delivery. Small percentage will get heart, lung infection.

But I was put on a course of antibiotics immediately after I was tested positive of this infection. Hope my body can start to produce antibodies. Hopefully, it'd minimise baby's chance of getting infected when he's born.

I never doubt I'd deliver him the natural way. I'd love to. So that I can carry him soon after he's born. I've nothing against c-section but I just hope my boy can feel his mum's love the minute he's born, without delay.

The Fighter

I finally saw my part in the scheme come to fruition today. After all these weeks and months...

Baby has also proven he's a fighter like his mum. Ha! We went to my gynae today for the much anticipated 2nd detailed scan to see if baby's condition has improved. After the examination, doc announced that baby's growth is back on track. "Whatever you've done over the last 2 weeks, continue to do it," she said. The CTG (heart scan) originally scheduled today can be done without due to this improved condition. Phew! Saved some money.

To-date, Berry and I have spent almost $3k on our visits to the gynae. Sigh... And we thought a wedding is expensive. Baby has already spent us more than we expected. ;pp

When Love & Hate Collide

I'd love to be able to rest at home and hopefully help baby grow. However, I hate the fact that I've to go to work to ensure the new scheme I've been working on this past 1.5 years is implemented smoothly.

I've been working late for how long I don't know. This week will be the same, if not worse. As the whole department counts down to the big event this weekend, the tension builds simultaneously.

I get calls every other minute for most days this week -- from printing vendor, internal liaison, IT support, other users/ stakeholders... It's amazing I don't lose my cool.

It's all right. I trust God's hand is working on baby. We'll see His miracle work this weekend when I'll go to the doc for a scan again.

Baby seems to have grown over the last weekend.

Bag for Labour

It's the 33rd week and I'm still not ready with the bag for labour. Went shuffling around at the Taka baby fair to do last minute preparations for baby's arrival. We finally bought a car seat. The last item for baby. All the rest have been take care of.

Still wondering if the breast pump we got is enough for heavy duty pumping. I'd love to give baby breast milk but I think I'll go back to work after 2 months' maternity leave. Thus, I'll need something that can take pumping everyday. A heavy duty one. I learnt from the Medela saleswoman that the pump I got is inadequate. However, the one for frequent pumping is really expensive. Will see how things go... Who knows. I may just quit my job for now to nurture baby.

Still quite a few things for myself. Breast pads, disposably undies, nursing night gown, nursing bras, maternity pads, etc. etc. I did it all today.

Thank God for the energy He's given to run all these errands.

Remedy

I never doubted He's in control. I said a prayer to ask the Lord for protection over my baby and got on to do what I should do as a mother -- do all I could to help baby.

Berry and I went to do some grocery shopping for healthy snacks. We bought apricot, chick peas, prunes (to aid my bowel movement), low-fat milk, wholemeal bread, Ritz biscuits, fruit juice, butter spread.

I increased my meat intake.

I can't take leave from work as the new scheme I've been working on for the past 1.5 yrs is to be implemented early next month. However, I started to make conscious effort to practise deep breathing each morning on the way to work.

The rest we left to Him...

Self-Reproach

I'd always believed that even if I don't eat a lot, baby will still be able to tap on the reserves my body has stored. So say a few books I've read. I couldn't figure out the cause of my baby's predicament. Have I not been eating well? Have I been depriving him of necessary nutrients by eating unhealthy foods? Not really.

Perhaps my busy schedule and irregular eating time have affected him. I spend12 hrs in the office everyday. I work from home on the weekends. Doc said let her know if I need MC to take a break from work. But I didn't.

Skinny Baby

In the 32nd week, doc did a detailed scan to measure the growth of various body parts of baby - head, limbs, tummy - and checked his heartbeat. All was ok except for 1 anomaly. Baby's tummy is smaller than usual. It's only the size of a 29th week old foetus' tummy! She called him a skinny baby and said that we may have to go for an early op to get him out and feed him externally if this persists. I was heartbroken. What has caused my baby to be so malnourished. Doc explained that it could be due to poor functioning of the placenta. It could have stopped performing and thus not giving enough 'food' to baby.

I was told to drink more milk and eat more meat. If situation persists in 2 weeks' time when I visit her again, we'd have to let baby come into this world earlier than predicted...

Daddy's Voice

Now baby responds to Berry's voice more than mine. He even wriggles when my male colleagues talk. I told Berry to speak to baby more often so he doesn't recognise the wrong voice when he's offloaded.

Broken Tooth

When my tooth broke, I was reminded of the "My Two Front Teeth" song. The stronger message that drove home was -- baby has indeed a very strong need for calcium. He has zapped all my calcium that my tooth was affected. It broke into half, leaving a huge stump at the back of my mouth. From then on, I kept to a one-calcium-pill-a-day routine as much as possible. Don't want all my teeth to go missing before baby arrives.

STRESSED!

Work is mounting and deadlines looming. Really feel like giving up. Regretted not leaving this job when I first discovered I was pregnant. Dread the kind of consequences this stressful period will have on my baby. But it's no turning back. Can't leave now, much as I want to. The Lord help me...

Responding to Sound

I noticed baby responds to my voice. He'd move when I talk. That's when I become very conscious of the TV programmes I watch and the surrounding sounds I come into contact with. One thing I've done since he was 3 months in my tummy was to play classical music whenever we drive. Heard that calms the foetus and is good for his development.

However, I do hope baby isn't affected by the heated arguments and raising of voices at meetings in the office. Unhealthy... Won't know if these have profound effect on him or not.

Humpty Dumpty

I had a fall. Went on my knees and got pulled forward by baby and finally ended up on my face! Owwww! That was painful! Thank God baby was supported by my knees and so didn't hit the ground.

We survived. And I finally know what it means to fall flat on my face.

Wormy Movements

Not just can I feel baby's movements, now we could see as well! Looks like sand worms crawling underneath my tummy's surface. It's bizarre and exciting.

Linea Nigra

I used to look with terror at pictures of pregnant women with a black strip across the tummy (top to bottom) until I noticed a linea nigra growing on mine as well. I was hoping it won't happen to me but it did. Mine's worse though. The part below the belly button looks more like a black tornado than a black line.
This line first appeared when I was sometime into my 6th month.

Don't Break My Will

A fellow church mate who have an 18-month old boy once told Berry and I that it is not an easy feat to discipline his child and yet not break his will at the same time. Till now, I don't really understand what he meant.

But I finally got a glimpse of what he meant. It's something like promoting creativity and yet teaching the child to be a good person with the right values.

Here's an analogy:

In the office, I review my staff's work. I check on the accuracy of facts presented and content. I don't change his/ her slide format/ layout/ custom animation, unless they distort accuracy of facts and content. Even then, I don't change without telling. I advise and rationalise my viewpoint and get the staff to rework it after understanding the requirements. I understand that to change the colour, or font type, or any aesthetics would be imposing my subjective opinion on the staff.

Father's Day

This is Berry's first year spending Father's Day without his dad. Decided to treat him to lunch to celebrate his own first year being a father, despite baby only going to be born in October. It was a sombre but enjoyable dim sum lunch.

Cute Baby Movement

Baby responds to my touch/ pats on the tummy but not Berry's. Strange how junior stops moving when Berry puts his big 'bear paw' on my tummy, wanting to feel his movements.

Polyp

Found myself bleeding yesterday. I was so worried I went to see my gynae this morning. She discovered a polyp growing in my cervix and immediately 'operated' on me to remove it for a histology investigation. Turned out to be benign. According to doc, this is not common but not serious either. Was given 3 days' mc and a jab to stabilise the foetus. Boy, what a tiring day.

Thank God baby is fine.

Empty Calories is Bad

About the 5th month into my pregnancy, I went for a detailed check up on my baby's dimensions to ensure his limbs are fine, his heartbeat is all right, his organs are growing well. I thought this would be the highlight of the check up.

However, guess I consumed too much sugary stuff (McDonald's vanilla cone and Minute Maid orange) just before the check up. The sugar level in my urine shot up sky high. Turned out that I had to have a blood prick test to check the sugar level in my blood. Doc and her nurses were all very concerned that I might develop gestational diabetes which may hit from 5th month onward.

I was upset for a while. It was my birthday that day and I just happened to indulge myself in stuff I usually won't take and it had to affect my tests.

Anyway, I learnt my lesson. Don't eat or drink too much sweet stuff. They contain empty carbo which would affect my baby. He may grow too fast too soon for his own good. This may lead to high blood pressure and overweight problem in him.

And yes, those flutterings were indeed the beginnings of feeling baby growing in me.

Feeling Baby's Movement

I could feel this slight flutter toward the bottom of my pelvic area. I suspect it's baby's movement that I'm beginning to feel. How exciting... I shall confirm it when I next see my gynae.

16th Week - Our Baby Waved at Us

Finally, the day came for us to be able to see our baby's gender. This baby is a cheeky fellow. He/she waved at us in the ultrasound scan. But... we couldn't see. He/ she crossed his/ her legs. ;p

Alpha-Thalassemia Trait

Doc did a comprehensive blood test for me in the 14th week to check for Down's. Something surfaced. I was told my blood displays alpha-thalassemia traits. I'm a carrier of thalassemia. Berry had to go for a blood test as well just to be sure baby will not be stricken with thalassemia. When his test results came out, doc congratulated me for marrying the right person. Berry's clear of it. Thank God.

As for Down's, baby's all clear. Blood and neckfold are good.

Sadness Looms

Just a week after our last visit to the gynae, my father-in-law passed away unexpectedly. (It was a Sunday). We were all shocked. He hasn't seen his first grandchild. No goodbyes. No last word. The future seems bleak and uncertain. Time will tell.

12th Week -- Getting Clear

It was yet another 3 weeks and time to visit the gynae to look at our baby. We were a little excited. Perhaps we could find out baby's gender today. Went home a little disappointed. Gynae said it'd be apparent only about 14-16 weeks on.

Learnt something today. If the discharge is milk curd-like, please let the gynae know on the next earliest visit. It could be fungus growing there. I had a bit of that. Had to spend a bit to get it cured but better then leaving it untreated. Who knows how it might affect the foetus.

9-week Old Teddy Bear

Went to see my gynae in the 9th week. Asked a lot of silly, practical, but real questions on a preggie's mind:

1. Yes, I can eat crabs.

2. Yes, I can go for haircuts (separately, I read a website that said I can go to a dentist in the 2nd trimester).

3. Yes, I can eat birds' nests.

4. No, I cannot do crunches -- only brisk walking and swimming.

5. Yes, puking is normal. But gynae gave me vitamin B6 which is supposed to ease vomitting.

6. Yes, having discharge is normal. But if there are traces of red or brown, see the gynae IMMEDIATELY.

My baby's scan. Gynae said, "It's a teddy bear!" I beg to differ. That's obviously a kidney bean! 2.29cm in length. My dear hubby exclaimed excitedly, "Where where? I can't see!" That's how we got a blown up scan (with lower resolution >:[ I told my hubby not to talk at our next visit. I can't see clearly with this blurred scan). And all the terminologies of where is what on the scan.

Baby's growing well

The only consolation I have about this puking business is that my baby is growing well. So say my good friend and my hubby's boss. Such nice people they are.

I was all right in the 7th week. However, in the 8th week, the nightmare came again. I was taken by surprise. Wasn't that the end of the merlion days? Even though I still feel quite nauseous, I never expected I'd ever puke again for the 1st trimester. Out came all my breakfast and nice yoghurt drink.

Sigh... nevermind. Same old good, consoling words. My baby is growing well.

But I found out that frequent light meals work well for me most of the time. Though my meals are absolutely unhealthy. Well, getting better. I'm hanging on there. Avoid super oily food.

The Merlion

I started puking on the 6th week into pregnancy. Gosh, what a merlion I was and still am, on bad days. I pray that this will ease soon. It was when I couldn't eat anything that my hubby was frantic and bought me all sorts of food in case I take a sudden fancy to any of them. One of those he bought was this formulated milk powder for pregnant women. Strange. First time I hear of such products. When I stop being a merlion, I shall try it.

First Visit to Gynae

My sister's gynae. I used to be thyroid-toxic. When I suspected I was pregnant, I requested for a blood test to confirm it and at the same time checked on my thyroid indicators. Turned out that one of the readings was a bit low, so my GP advised to see a gynae soon.

I went when I was in the 6th week. Gynae advised against raw/ uncooked food. Else, I can take most food, even caffeine, but in moderation. Vitamins? Folic acid for now.

With a Baby

Yes, I'm pregnant. Got the news on 19 Feb. Ha. What will this mean for my family? Can't stop the urge to want to blog about this newfound responsibility.
I've made up my mind from day 1 of getting married that should I have a baby, I'll stop work to look after the child. But with the economy in a limbo, I wonder if I could afford to do that.
But babies are meant to bring joy to the home, so I shall stay positive and consider it pure joy to be where I am now. =)

Brand New Baby Dress for 6-9 Months

Bought this at $50 for my niece but she outgrew it even before I could give her as a present. It was from a push cart at Raffles City. It's velvet top, taffeta bottom. Anybody interested to get this for a baby you know? Drop me a message. Price negotiable.
Afternote: gave it to a friend's newborn! 5 Mar.